It is most important to not take yourself too seriously............
Afterall, when you are close to a work area, you can fail to look outside .......at all.
A bit of a light hearted approach to turf management............
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God and Lawn Care
GOD to ST. FRANCIS:
Frank, ... You know all
about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the
planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I
started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those
plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon.
The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and
flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all
I see are these green rectangles.
St. FRANCIS:
It's the tribes that settled
there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and
went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD:
Grass? But, it's so boring. It's
not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and
sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want
all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently so, Lord. They go to
great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing
grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD:
The spring rains and warm weather
probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS:
Apparently not, Lord. As soon as
it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice or more a week, for some areas of grass called golf courses and sportsfields.
GOD:
They cut it? Do they then bale it
like hay?
ST. FRANCIS:
Not exactly, Lord. Most of them
rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD:
They bag it? Why? Is it a cash
crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS:
No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw
it away.
GOD:
Now,
let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it
does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS:
Yes, Sir.
GOD:
These Suburbanites must be
relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That
surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS:
You aren't going to believe this,
Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more
money to water it, so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD:
What nonsense. At least they kept
some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.
The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer.
In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep
moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of
life.
ST. FRANCIS:
You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as
the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled
away.
GOD:
No!? What do they do to protect
the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS:
After throwing away the leaves,
they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and
spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD:
And where do they get this mulch?
ST. FRANCIS:
They cut down trees and grind
them up to make the mulch.
GOD:
Enough! I don't want to think
about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie
have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE:
'Dumb and
Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....
GOD:
Never mind, I
think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.....................